So 2014 is officially over and done with and it’s now 2015! well a week into 2015 ( i was meant to post this earlier oops!)And all I can hope for is this year to be as good as last year, I hope I’ll branch out more and try new things and just have fun, but I thought since 2014 has been a big and busy year I thought I’d share a few photos from  last year from my instagram, as this year Instagram has  been one of my main platforms of social media.

♥ Local Beach ♥ My photo i took of a fence and some stick things ♥ Red Berry Fruit Cooler and reading Looking For Alaska at my first college interview  ♥ Trying Nandos for the first time ♥ Me and my friend Beth at our friends birthday meal ♥ Doing revision for GCSE's at Newcastle Racecourse ♥ Revising for my Science exams, still not grasping the point of highlighting key points ♥ My friend Lisa and I at Mcbusted ♥ mcbusted concert ♥ Me and my friend Elisha on our last day of year 11 ♥ The Hoppings with my cousin  ♥ making smoothies ♥ Messing around with sparklers and camera settings ♥ my photo i took of my door in the morning messing around with my camera ♥ Costa Brownie Hot Chocolate ♥ My friend Diane and Me in College ♥

So 2014 was a big year i went from starting the year with people i've known since nursery to leaving a lot of them behind and going off to college and meeting new people and making new friends, i did a lot of new things that i've never done before like going to interviews for college, exams, going to my first concert, trying new foods, making a blog! to leaving to go to a sixth form college whilst knowing no one to talking to a lot of new people and making a lot of new friends. It's been a very busy and stressful year but over all i'm happy with how i'm ending the year i think the one thing i'm most pleased with is i've gone out of my comfort zone and done a lot of things i wouldn't normally do like this blog and on the 29th December i hit 2000 views for me that's crazy especially since i only started this blog back in March and i never even thought of passing 100 views. i hope everyone had a great 2014 and i hope 2015 will be even better for everyone. 

Emma 

Sunday Thoughts...

So today I've been having one of those days where I've been thinking so much and my mind is all over the place trying to comprehend my thoughts and make sense of all of them, So I thought why not write my thoughts (Well type) where they'll make sense.

I've been thinking a lot lately about life. I know I've done this before but this is just making me think so much about my life and where I’m heading in life. My goals, expectations, decisions and it’s all becoming so much that it’s confusing and making me worried. So to start with I’m going to say Results day…

Two very simple words but also the most terrifying words to me at this moment in time. It’s only 19 days until I walk through the doors of my high school to pick up my results. These results will determine if I get into college or not. It will determine how good of a job I’ll get and on top of that it will determine how proud my parents will be of me. I need 5 C’s or above and that is it! it doesn’t seem like much but it’s terrifying, just waiting around for the day to come. I’ve done the exams and there is nothing I can do about it. Yet no matter how much I try to forget about that dreadful day it manages to barge its way straight back. I know some of you will be in the same position and it’s terrible, I guess until then you have to just try to push it to the back of your mind and ignore it or like what I’m doing just distracting myself with anything I can.

Another thought is leading on from results is college. I’m terrified. I’m not out going I’m not loud I’m not social, I’m probably the complete opposite I’m shy, timid and quite anti social. I made some wonderful friends in high school and it terrifies me that I’m not going to be able to just see them after every lesson. I won’t see them at all. I’m going to a complete new area with new people. I mean there might be people from my old school, but I don’t talk to them. They aren’t my friends they are people I know. It terrifies me that I could be friendless. It terrifies me that this confidence I built up in my last year is going to crumble and I’m going to be back at the beginning.

To top it off I still am confused over the courses I want to take. I'm panicked that I’m going to take a course that I’ll hate. I know I want to do Media and English language but I need one more. I have either photography or English lit. Photography Is terrifying me I'm scared that I won’t be creative enough for the course and English Lit the exam terrifies me I don't think I can do the exam without having the book there with me. So I don't know what to do for that.

Yeah this is pretty depressing so far how can I change this around? I've been thinking about my friends lately and how leaving school has caused us to drift apart with everything we have had on. Like two of my friends going on holiday and another going on the NCS trip. I've drifted apart a lot I’d say, but even though I have I've easily picked up a conversation with each of them and it’s as if we've been speaking everyday and I'm thankful for this. If I lost the friends I have now I'd be upset as I already drifted from three of my friends. I love my friends and i love that I think I went nearly a month without talking to some of them and I just randomly texted them one day and we had a conversation if you read it you wouldn't think we had stopped talking for that length of time.

I think to end this I’m going to share my thoughts about blogging. I've had this blog for about five full months now (or just over) and I'm shocked at how well this has gone. I originally didn’t want to do this, I had no intentions of becoming a blogger, but after some long arguments with my best friend she convinced me (well forced me) to start this blog up. She put it all together for me she came up with the name and she showed me the basics and she posted the introduction post. I'm actually so happy she forced me to do this because I’m enjoying this my blog currently has 906 views and I have 78 followers on blog lovin’ and I’ve had the occasional comment on posts and I’ve realised that writing and putting effort into blogging actually makes me very happy i've. Even if I don't have many views or followers I’m enjoying what I do.

So to properly end this post I'm going to say ‘if it makes you happy do it,’ It’s very simple and it’s something so small but if you enjoy doing something whether it’s something like writing, singing, going out, watching TV programs anything then do it, don't let other peoples judgments get in the way. At the end of the day it’s your life not theirs, so gain that control and control your own life.

Emma

Final Day Of Year 11

So today was my final day of school and year 11, I finished my final exam and said my goodbyes to the people I talk to everyday and just the people I grew up with. Today’s been filled with all sorts of feelings I’ve gone through stages where I just didn’t care and was just wanting to leave, others where I was starting to actually realise what was happening and realised that today was my final day, it was the last time I would see everyone together. This ranged from people I have knew since first school, or who I met in middle school or even people that I’ve only just met over the last four  years.

(photo took by my friend whilst we were getting our shirts signed) 

During these last four years I’ve had great memories, bad memories, arguments, fall outs, make ups, met/ talked to new people and watched everyone mature. I would be lying if I said I didn’t cry because I  did. I cried when I had to go my separate way from my friend who I have grown up with since I was four! I have walked to school with her for four years and I’ve had lessons and all sorts with her, we’ve had our ups and downs, but we over came them and I'm upset that I'm not going to see her every day.

( i absolutely love this photo i'm on the left, my friend Elisha is on the right our final walk home) 

 I also learned that I haven’t talked to everyone in my year, I’m not one hundred percent close with everyone and I usually talk to a small amount of people, but today I actually talked to a lot of people. I got my shirt signed and when I got home I read over all the things wrote and I was upset because I don’t know what’s going to happen to most of these people in the future all I know is they’re going to live their lives and I wish them the best of luck.

(my signed school shirt there was more on the arms and front) 

 I can’t believe that these last four years have flew over and now that my exams are over I can’t do anything about how my results will turn out, but all I know is these results will determined if I get into college or not and right now that has gone out the window. This is the beginning of my summer, I have been put under stress since April and I’m finally relieved but completely emotionally and physically drained.

Today has been full of reliving memories from over the last few years and full of goodbyes. It’s been crazy and so surreal and right now I feel quite empty and I’m at the point where I feel like ‘what now?’ I don’t know what to do but I know that I have plenty of things planned and this is just the beginning of my journey and if any of you have experienced this then you’ll know the feeling and you’ll know that this is just the beginning…

Emma

Reflecting on Life

So I'm trying something different this week I've been having some interesting thoughts about life in general and I feel like I need to share my views on life.

Life? What is life? Most things have a life, Plants, Animals and humans we all have life, seed are planted, they grow into plants and die, animals grow up and live a life where they, eat, sleep, run, hunt, mate, etc.. Whilst our lives are completely different. We’re born, we learn, we grow, we develop, we make friends, we laugh, play, go out, get a job, fall in love, get married, start a family and we grow again until we die.

Our lives are funny, everyone is different and everyone’s life is different. Some people have better lives than others, whilst others are more successful, or other people fall in love quicker than others. Everyone is different and I’ve recently realised how funny life is.

I’m still in school I’m a week away from finishing which is pretty terrifying I’m doing all of my exams and soon I’ll get my result and that’s it, it’s up to me what I decide to do I’m in charge of my life, I’m in control. everything I do is my choice and my choices determine my life, so do I go to college? Uni? Or get a job (I know terrifying thoughts.) Anyways I’ve realised how different our lives change whilst we grow up and go through first school, middle school and high school. You see each other develop, you see people change for better or for worse and you see people mature.

You go through this period of time with so many people who you have grew up with from the beginning or met along the way. I never even talked to half of the people in my year until this year and I have actually realised that I should have talked to a lot of them sooner as they would have made me a more outgoing person and in a way I regret not getting closer to them earlier, but I can’t help that and In a way I don’t care. I mean the people in my life now are the ones I hope to keep.

I honestly can’t wait to finish school and I can’t wait to leave a lot of people because in a way a lot of them don’t mean anything to me, as harsh as that sounds but I believe you only need a few friends to help you through because they are going to be the ones who care about you most and not some random girl or boy from your class who you barely know or may talk to on a rare occasion.

But on the other hand I will miss a lot of these people because I’ve grew up with them I have seen them from small children like myself grow into a teenager and I’ve seen people through both their worst and best times, I’ve seen people fight and fall out and make up in minutes.

 I do wish I got to know a lot of them better but I couldn’t have asked for better people to grow up with especially in high school, a lot of these people were brilliant and kind but others weren’t but I don’t care about the people who I didn’t like or they didn’t like me. But I can’t wait to see what happens to the people who actually put effort into school and their exams.

In a way I’m ready to leave school and move on and actually start my life, but I’m also terrified it’s a big step and it can be quite nerve racking but I can’t wait to go off to college and meet new people and start my adventure of life, I hope to travel to some great places and document it whilst hopefully doing something in journalism or fashion/ beauty or maybe even photography who knows?

But life is a mystery we can’t predict our own futures only time will tell and until then we have to make the most of live and enjoy it whilst we can, so whether it’s traveling somewhere or meeting new people. Make the most of it and just carry on what you love doing. You may as well live life to the fullest as everything else is uncertain, but it’s true don’t let the little things get you down, just do the things you love don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise just do it.

It’s your life and you’re in control so the decisions you make effect your life so you make them don’t let anyone else have a say in it and if you love something do more of it, it makes you happy and that’s all that matters,

Emma