As of 2015 I’ve been feeling surprisingly down for it being a new year and I think it’s down to A Levels, I’m not particularly enjoying it. I enjoy the social and the friends I’ve made but I often find myself thinking what’s the point in this and when can I drop out? But I’ve realised that it’s not long until I start my exams. Of course this is going to make me more stressed and probably even more unhappy, but once that’s out of the way with and summer comes along I’ll be fine again and there will be one year left. Baring this in mind I haven’t decided if I still want to continue, I’ve decided to leave that until I get my results after my AS exams. So what’s the point in this post? I haven’t really decided I’m in a mood to write what I’m thinking and feeling and I feel like if you’re going to get this far you may as well continue and put up with it for another year, because in the end it could make a difference to my life but t the same time it might not and in the end I won’t know until later on in life if it was really worth it.

I find that life is a weird thing and I find myself thinking about it a lot and how everyone’s life’s are different some enjoy it whilst others don’t, but as I’ve realized is you have ups and downs, twists and turns like a roller coaster (yeah I’m using that example) and you have difficulties, problems, but you also will have the more positive effects like happiness, memories, friends and family. And like roller coasters what goes up must come down but to get up you have to push yourself and try, try and try some more and in the end you’ll succeed.

I know for sixth form I’m going to come out in one of two ways I’m either going to finish sixth form with really good grades and hopefully get a job afterwards, or I’m going to come out with the complete opposite and the two years will have been a waste of time and it’s down to me to decide. In the end I can put the work and effort in and it’ll pay off. 

And life is the same it’s up to you what you do, you control your life so you do what you want to do and do more of what makes you happy, you enjoy writing you write, enjoy drawing? Draw. You want to go off to uni to get a degree? Work hard and you ‘ll achieve that’ and this sounds easier said than done, but in the end isn’t life a challenge? You over come things and you get a better result out of it.  

And as well as the big and obvious things in life there are little things that matter just as much and these tend to be the things I look at to make myself much more happier and sometimes little things can completely change my day around and make me happier. For example photos are one of the things that I love and can do nearly any time of day and can make me happy. I love the idea of capturing a moment or just the way in which something looks. There may be no reason behind a picture but it can still look wonderful and speak a thousand words depending on how you look upon the image. And you may forget about a picture and look back and you can remember the memories of that day and the events that took place. It reminds me of the poem ‘Six Young Men’ by Ted Hughes and as much as that poem is depressing the way they talk about photographs is true, you can look at pictures from your mam and dad’s past and see a different time even if it’s not too long ago. And to you they may mean nothing but to them it may mean the world. It’s incredible really how everyone lives their own life’s and capture it in different ways and in a way we have the same guide lines but go in separate directions.

Everyone’s life’s are different and we’ll all experience different things and in the end things will get better if they aren’t already and as Winston Churchill said ‘If your going through hell keep going’ because without struggle there is no success.

Sorry about the lack of posts recently i haven't had much time to write and i've been quite busy with college i am going to try and sort things out and post weekly again. 

Emma

Final Day Of Year 11

So today was my final day of school and year 11, I finished my final exam and said my goodbyes to the people I talk to everyday and just the people I grew up with. Today’s been filled with all sorts of feelings I’ve gone through stages where I just didn’t care and was just wanting to leave, others where I was starting to actually realise what was happening and realised that today was my final day, it was the last time I would see everyone together. This ranged from people I have knew since first school, or who I met in middle school or even people that I’ve only just met over the last four  years.

(photo took by my friend whilst we were getting our shirts signed) 

During these last four years I’ve had great memories, bad memories, arguments, fall outs, make ups, met/ talked to new people and watched everyone mature. I would be lying if I said I didn’t cry because I  did. I cried when I had to go my separate way from my friend who I have grown up with since I was four! I have walked to school with her for four years and I’ve had lessons and all sorts with her, we’ve had our ups and downs, but we over came them and I'm upset that I'm not going to see her every day.

( i absolutely love this photo i'm on the left, my friend Elisha is on the right our final walk home) 

 I also learned that I haven’t talked to everyone in my year, I’m not one hundred percent close with everyone and I usually talk to a small amount of people, but today I actually talked to a lot of people. I got my shirt signed and when I got home I read over all the things wrote and I was upset because I don’t know what’s going to happen to most of these people in the future all I know is they’re going to live their lives and I wish them the best of luck.

(my signed school shirt there was more on the arms and front) 

 I can’t believe that these last four years have flew over and now that my exams are over I can’t do anything about how my results will turn out, but all I know is these results will determined if I get into college or not and right now that has gone out the window. This is the beginning of my summer, I have been put under stress since April and I’m finally relieved but completely emotionally and physically drained.

Today has been full of reliving memories from over the last few years and full of goodbyes. It’s been crazy and so surreal and right now I feel quite empty and I’m at the point where I feel like ‘what now?’ I don’t know what to do but I know that I have plenty of things planned and this is just the beginning of my journey and if any of you have experienced this then you’ll know the feeling and you’ll know that this is just the beginning…

Emma

Reflecting on Life

So I'm trying something different this week I've been having some interesting thoughts about life in general and I feel like I need to share my views on life.

Life? What is life? Most things have a life, Plants, Animals and humans we all have life, seed are planted, they grow into plants and die, animals grow up and live a life where they, eat, sleep, run, hunt, mate, etc.. Whilst our lives are completely different. We’re born, we learn, we grow, we develop, we make friends, we laugh, play, go out, get a job, fall in love, get married, start a family and we grow again until we die.

Our lives are funny, everyone is different and everyone’s life is different. Some people have better lives than others, whilst others are more successful, or other people fall in love quicker than others. Everyone is different and I’ve recently realised how funny life is.

I’m still in school I’m a week away from finishing which is pretty terrifying I’m doing all of my exams and soon I’ll get my result and that’s it, it’s up to me what I decide to do I’m in charge of my life, I’m in control. everything I do is my choice and my choices determine my life, so do I go to college? Uni? Or get a job (I know terrifying thoughts.) Anyways I’ve realised how different our lives change whilst we grow up and go through first school, middle school and high school. You see each other develop, you see people change for better or for worse and you see people mature.

You go through this period of time with so many people who you have grew up with from the beginning or met along the way. I never even talked to half of the people in my year until this year and I have actually realised that I should have talked to a lot of them sooner as they would have made me a more outgoing person and in a way I regret not getting closer to them earlier, but I can’t help that and In a way I don’t care. I mean the people in my life now are the ones I hope to keep.

I honestly can’t wait to finish school and I can’t wait to leave a lot of people because in a way a lot of them don’t mean anything to me, as harsh as that sounds but I believe you only need a few friends to help you through because they are going to be the ones who care about you most and not some random girl or boy from your class who you barely know or may talk to on a rare occasion.

But on the other hand I will miss a lot of these people because I’ve grew up with them I have seen them from small children like myself grow into a teenager and I’ve seen people through both their worst and best times, I’ve seen people fight and fall out and make up in minutes.

 I do wish I got to know a lot of them better but I couldn’t have asked for better people to grow up with especially in high school, a lot of these people were brilliant and kind but others weren’t but I don’t care about the people who I didn’t like or they didn’t like me. But I can’t wait to see what happens to the people who actually put effort into school and their exams.

In a way I’m ready to leave school and move on and actually start my life, but I’m also terrified it’s a big step and it can be quite nerve racking but I can’t wait to go off to college and meet new people and start my adventure of life, I hope to travel to some great places and document it whilst hopefully doing something in journalism or fashion/ beauty or maybe even photography who knows?

But life is a mystery we can’t predict our own futures only time will tell and until then we have to make the most of live and enjoy it whilst we can, so whether it’s traveling somewhere or meeting new people. Make the most of it and just carry on what you love doing. You may as well live life to the fullest as everything else is uncertain, but it’s true don’t let the little things get you down, just do the things you love don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise just do it.

It’s your life and you’re in control so the decisions you make effect your life so you make them don’t let anyone else have a say in it and if you love something do more of it, it makes you happy and that’s all that matters,

Emma